Bad Jokes...

Keep the crap off the board and into the Ridiculous Corner. This is the perfect place for things like word and number games and forum games.
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roland_perteev
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Bad Jokes...

Postby roland_perteev » Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:41 am

Ron was having trouble hearing, so he went to see Dr. Greg about it.

Dr. Greg gets that pointy-light-magnifying thing and looks in to Ron's right ear, and much to his surprise sees that it's full of cake and cream.

Baffled, Dr. Greg then goes around and looks in Ron's left ear, only to find this one full of jelly and custard (!!!)

Noting the surprise on the Dr. Greg's face, Ron asks what the problem is.

"Well..." said Dr. Greg "You appear to be a trifle deaf..."
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halfeb
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Re: Bad Jokes...

Postby halfeb » Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:00 am

Noted Acheologist, Fred Flintstine, made an amazing discovery in Sweden. On a wind swept fjord he came across some primative musical instruments and some minisule disposits of fossilized stool. When asked what the stool could be, Flintstine replied, "It's a dab of abba doo."
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halfeb
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Bad Jokes...

Postby halfeb » Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:00 am

Noted Acheologist, Fred Flintstine, made an amazing discovery in Sweden. On a wind swept fjord he came across some primative musical instruments and some minisule disposits of fossilized stool. When asked what the stool could be, Flintstine replied, "It's a dab of abba doo."
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roland_perteev
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Bad Jokes...

Postby roland_perteev » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:30 pm

Once there was a little red man, and he lived in a little red house with a little red garden, through which ran a little red path to a little red gate.

One day the little red man was in his little red bath when he heard someone knock twice on his little red door.
"Two knocks" thought the little red man "It must be the postman."
So he got out of his little red bath and put a little red towel around him and went to the door, and sure enough it was the postman with some letters for him.
10 minutes later the little red man was back in his bath, when someone knocked on his little red door three times.
"Three knocks - it must be the baker!" said the little red man as he got out of his little red bath and put his little red towel around himself. He opened the front door and sure enough it was the baker with some freshly baked bread.
10 minutes after that the little red man was back in his little red bath reading his little red book, when someone knocked four times on his little red door.
"Four knocks - that can only be the blind lady from up the street!" said the little red man to his little red self. So he got out of his little red bath and went to the front door without bothering with a little red towel.
Sure enough it was the blind lady from up the street, but unfortunately she'd come to tell the little red man that she'd just had an operation to make her see again, and was so shocked to see the little red man wothout so much as a little red fig leaf to conceal his little red nakedness that she turned and ran down his little red path, through his little red gate and on to the road where she was run over by a bus.

The moral? Never cross the road when the little red man is flashing.
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Salrith
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Bad Jokes...

Postby Salrith » Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:42 am

I like that little red man one. It's so terrible it's funny again ^.=.^
But have you ever heard the one about the Irish Doberman? He was sitting in a corner, chewing on a bone, and when he stood up, he only had three legs.

*avoids tomatoes*
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halfeb
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Bad Jokes...

Postby halfeb » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:05 am

A mother superior at a church was having a rather hard day and needed to relax. She told the nuns that she was going to take a bath and was not to be disturbed. She got back to her room, stripped down and got into the bath. The other nuns decided to go down to the church to pray so as not to disturb her.

She was soaking in the bath and there was a knock on the door. The Mother superior sighed and called out, "Who is it?"
"Its the blind man from the village." The reply came back. The nun, feeling sorry for a man bereft of vision, more then likely just in need of comfort decided to let him in, but, couldn't be bothered putting on her clothes. So, she went down stairs naked and open the door. The man looked her up and down and said, "Nice tits. Where do you want the venitians?"
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Buddah
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Bad Jokes...

Postby Buddah » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:54 am

A boy is walking along the street and this car pulls up beside him, "Get in and I will give you a bag of lollies" says the man. The boy yells "NO!" and continues walking. The man tries again this time offering a bigger bag of lollies and a bottle of soft drink, again the boy yells NO! The man tries one last time and offers him McDonald's for the rest of the week and as much junk food as he can eat. The boy stops, looks at the man and says "Look dad, you decided to get the Volvo I won't be caught dead in it."
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halfeb
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Bad Jokes...

Postby halfeb » Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:51 pm

Twisted movie titles:-

The animal porn movie, "Mary Had A Little Lamb."
The improper puncuation movie, "What!? Women Want!?"
The documentry, "Saggy: The Anirexic Elephant."
The documentry, "Lippy: The Lemming with the Alternative Lifestyle."
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topher
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Bad Jokes...

Postby topher » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:43 pm

what do you get when you mix an abstract artist with a phone????..... a chicken
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halfeb
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Bad Jokes...

Postby halfeb » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:46 pm

what do you get when you mix an abstract artist with a phone????..... a chicken[/quote]


I don't get it >.>

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